Bad Habit By Alana S. Portero

Bad Habit By Alana S. Portero

Review By Sunaina Luthra 

Women trapped in a man’s guise

In a quest, for voice to share their somber tale

Their heart beats with a tender grace

Do they long to show their real face?

Each step taken towards acceptance

of their identity

is met with a scorn

A Stigma and an embarrassment

   Meant to be caged

 Is the only opinion that society hails

How they wish to flutter their wings

Albeit, crushed by constant gaze

 Their lives intricately entwined

Within an identity so queer

Yet, they cannot be confined.

The emotions described above undoubtedly resonate with Alana, the protagonist of the book ‘Bad Habit’ by Alana S. Portero. The narrator, a resident of vibrant and busy downtown Madrid, grapples to embrace her true identity as a transgender.

Alana, though trapped in a man’s body, in the true essence is a woman. Her identity built on the detritus of duality fears obloquy dispensed through human obscurity.  Her ontology lives a chiaroscuro of insurmountable seethe and soporific dreams; their struggles heavily masked to avoid the harsh glares of discrimination and physical assaults. The night is a soliloquy of impending thoughts that could one day pass through the prism of reality.  The years crawl by; she courageously and with a fierce spirit becomes a master of covert steps, shielding herself from the venom of transphobia.

She finds love and fleeting freedom with Jay, a schoolmate, as her fears start to dissolve. Yet, revealing her true identity brings back her vulnerabilities. Rejected and desperate for acceptance, she plunges into the neon-lit underworld of nightclubs, donning a new persona with practiced ease.

Isn’t this world we live in a labyrinth of shadows where individuals with queer identities often encounter others like themselves trapped in a quagmire of adversity and struggle. Alana is no different! She encounters Margarita, her enigmatic neighbor, and Eugenie, a sex worker with secrets of their own. Their connections are a tangle of deception and solace, leading Alana to the unsettling realization that ‘Gender Euphoria’ might be an illusion crafted to soothe broken souls.

‘Bad Habit’ explores tempest of suppressed emotions and masked smiles. It delves into profound and often overlooked struggles and unspoken anguish within the transgender community. The narrative evokes empathy for their plight while painting a picture of the resilient sisterhood that emerges to weather life’s storms. Within the pages, Margarita and Eugenie embody this unbreakable bond, offering solace and strength amidst the chaos.

Takeaway

An intricate depiction of the journey of self-discovery…

7 Responses

  1. I like this post, enjoyed this one thanks for posting. “The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” by Albert Einstein.

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